Feb 2012 Local Productions, Casting News and a Quiz

Here is some news of local productions, casting requirements, news from NODA and a quiz.

Sorry it's a bit jumbled but it's the way I received it and much may be of interest to drama enthusiasts.

Bob

Chairman Davenham & Sandiway Players

See the Players website http://www.davenhamplayers.co.uk/

and blog at http://dsp-davenham.blogspot.com/ 

Make it one of your favourites for the first news about our events or productions at neighbouring groups.

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• Monday, 20 February 2012 at 19:30 until Saturday at 21:30

Cheshire Actors Studio - Blakemere Craft Centre

Someone Who'll Watch over Me by Frank McGuinness Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Irishman and the American? Locked away together in a single cell in Lebanon for months on end with no idea why, three men, Adam, Michael and Edward try to to come to terms with their kidnapping. A story of love, life and friendship that examines the strength of the human spirit, as the men share with each other their trials and tribulations as they strive to drive away the boredom, fear and insanity in an attempt to stay alive. Alone in isolation they wait in the hope that someone watching over them will soon hand them a key to freedom. Tickets £8 full www.cheshireactorsstudio.moonfruit.com Box Office: www.studioboxoffice.moonfruit.com Cast: Adam - Richard Oliver Edward - Ken McConnell Michael - Johnny Kindersley =========================================================================

Sherlock Holmes - the final adventure by Steven Dietz, on from 18 – 21 April 2012 at The Harlequin Theatre, Northwich.　"The game is afoot, Watson - and it is a dangerous one!"
　The city of London is in the grip of fear. And from the centre of his web of evil, the legendary professor of crime is pulling all the strings. Not only that, but the King of Bohemia is being blackmailed by a former lover on the eve of his wedding. To the untrained eye, these two occurrences would seem unrelated. But the greatest detective of all time will face death itself to uncover a more sinister connection.Directed by Chris Finney　Anyone interested should contact either the director, Chris Finney at cdavidfinney@hotmail.co.uk or our Membership Sec Angie Orme on angelabyron08@hotmail.com  The two roles are:　
Sherlock Holmes - The brilliant detective. Driven, unflinching and with a mind from which no detail escapes, no matter how small. A man who's intelligence seems ill-contained within his own being. He's also dismissive, prickly, a drug user and lacking in "people skills". Ideally, the actor who plays this role should be in his forties. But age is negotiable, as long as we don't skew too old.　
Dr John Watson - A former military man, Watson is Holmes's best, and indeed, only friend. He is tough and reliable, and also a clever man in his own right. He is NOT Sherlock Holmes's sidekick. Companion is the better word. Watson is fiercely loyal, and a real gentleman. He is fascinated by Holmes's skills, but does not "fawn" over him. Again, and actor in his forties is ideal, but as with Holmes, this is negotiabl　
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Subj: In Praise of Love - Actor needed -HGTC　
Heald Green Theatre Club are performing Rattigan's In Praise of Love from 26-31 March. We have just lost one of the cast who is now unable to do the part owing to difficulties at work. We are trying to find a replacement. The part is Joey, the son of Sebastian and Lydia Crutwell. He is 20, an eager Liberal and would-be dramatist. He is emotionally estranged from his domineering father but finds the courage to stand up to him. It is a good part. Would you be able to ask or e-mail your members asking if anyone would be interested or knows of someone who  might be? If so, would they get in touch with me on 07729 475934 or e-mail me at paulcreid1@gmail.com<mailto:paulcreid1@gmail.com> and I can give them more information. The Telegraph review of last year's production in Northampton gives a good idea of what the play is about: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/theatre-reviews/8431787/In-Praise-of-Love-Royal-and-Derngate-Nothampton-review.html　

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I am running a FUN QUIZ at the Harlequins theatre at 8pm on Wednesday 29th, I realise it is play week there at Davenham, but if anyone would be interested in attending, it starts at 8pm, bar and nibbles, teams of five, hope to maybe see you on Friday @ Loveplay.............Angie

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Forward to a friend Can't read this e-mail properly? February 2012 Welcome to the NODA newsletter Summer School is back at the conference village at Warwick University this year and is sure to offer you a week you will never forget. Latest News A whole week of doing what you loveHow does an intensive week of fun and practical theatrical workshops, with professional tutors at the top of their game, in top class accommodation, with great food and even better company sound? Too good to be true? Well it's not. If you are passionate about amateur theatre and  looking to boost your existing skills and confidence, learn something completely new, or simply spend a week doing something you love, NODA Summer School is the place for you. Something for everyoneWhether you're a performer or prefer to be behind the scenes, there is a course to suit everyone. This year you can enjoy a week of honing your performance skills  on our Choral singing, Musical Theatre or acting courses, explore the world of the Musical Director, or enjoy learning the skills of the Deputy Stage Manager. Course details New for 2012And for the first time this year we have some new and exciting opportunities to learn too. What about a full week of top singing tuition with Pam Rudge on our brand new Choral singing course?  Or one of our specially designed intensive courses, packed into 3 days, but with the same great atmosphere, hotel standard accommodation and social activities in the evening? This year we are offering students short courses in Sound or Lighting design, Mime and Physical Theatre. And if you'd like to, you can do two of the four courses and stay for a whole week. Find out more Want to know more? More informationfind out more about Summer School including information on courses and tutors. Book online Advertisements Amateur Stage ExpoIf you want to know more about the NODA Summer School 2012 come and talk to us at Amateur Stage Expo on 31 March and 1 April 2012 at the Business Design Centre in Islington. Please forward this email to all your friends who are involved in amateur theatre. Reach more than 5000 subscibers to the NODA email newsletter every month. Advertising your products and services here.Email us now for more information, or call: 01733 374 790

©2010 National Operatic and Dramatic Association (NODA) www.noda.org.uk We have sent you this email as a NODA client, supplier or contact. We hope you enjoy it, however if you do not wish to receive our e-zine again simply click here to unsubscribe

Newsletter Dec 2011

Over the summer much work has gone on at the theatre to improve and maintain. Arthur has been hard at work yet again and has painted the most of the outside of the building. He has also made a ramp to aid disabled access at the side of the building. He has repaired the ceiling in one of the upstairs rooms and other members have decorated it.

Graham has updated and reorganised the lights in the auditorium including the installation of new dimmer packs and control unit.

Arthur, Paul and Andrea have refurbished the bar and it all looks very smart and functional. Paul Scott has also replaced the backstage TV monitor, which is a great asset during a play week.

Thanks go to all these people and to those members, not named, but who so readily give their time to help improve the theatre.

In July, the AGM took place. Due to work commitments, Phil Perry felt he had to stand down as chairman but thankfully is still a member and has kindly offered to still do our play posters. Thank you Phil for you time in the chair and we are glad we are not losing you totally. As a very worthy successor to Phil, Bob Almquist was elected chairman. Bob, as you know, has been a member for a long, long time and has kept the ‘Players’ together in the past during some very lean times. Bob, as treasurer, does far more than he has to, in fact Shirley, long–suffering wife, often thinks he spends more time at the theatre than at home!

3 new members were elected onto the committee, Denise Barry, Don Anderson and Ed Green. Each member of the committee now has an area of responsibility and in case you have forgotten who does what, there is a list in the foyer.

September saw the start of the new season and a new production. In July, Barbara Crellin cast ‘The Cripple of Inishmaan’ and began rehearsals in September. Unfortunately, the main character dropped out and Barbara was left with the daunting task of finding a replacement, which she did, in the form of 16 year old Will Bishop, a student at Sir John Deane’s college. Will fitted in extremely well with the rest of the cast, knew his lines in record time and portrayed the character of Billy like a veteran. As well as it being Will’s first part for ‘The Players’, it was also Ed Green’s and new member, Margaret Smith, who at 91 [yes 91!] played a 90 year old. Margaret knew her lines before anyone else and didn’t require any prompts during play week! During the week, the egg trade was certainly boosted by Beth and Jamie who, it can be said, had a smashing time!

Play week was a great success and most nights were a sell-out and people were heard to say, ‘It’s best one we’ve ever seen’. Congrats go to Barbara, her fantastic cast and stage crew. Thanks also go to people who manned the bar and front of house.

It only remains for me to wish you all a very happy Christmas and New Year.

Paulette Anderson
Hon. Sec.

Our Next Production 1st-5th Nov 2011

Set in 1934 on the remote Aran Island community of Inishmaan, off the West coast of Ireland, 'The Cripple of Inishmaan' is a strange and comic tale in the great tradition of Irish story telling. The inhabitants are excited to learn that Hollywood director Robert Flaherty is coming to the neighbouring island of Inishmore to make a documentary about life on the islands, to be called 'Man of Aran'.

As word of the filming reaches Inishmaan, the one person who wants to be in the film more than anyone is young ‘Cripple’ Billy Claven, eager to escape the gossip, poverty, and bitter tedium of his daily life. Billy tries for a part and, despite his crippled arm and leg and to everyone's surprise, the orphan and outcast - gets cast !

'The Cripple of Inishmaan' premiered at the Royal National Theatre in December 1996 and the author, Martin McDonagh, won the Evening Standard Award for the most promising playwright that year.

Davenham and Sandiway Players now present 'The Cripple of Inishmaan', directed by Barbara Crellin, at the Players Theatre Davenham, opening on Tuesday 1^st until Saturday 5^th November at 7:30pm. Tickets £7.00 and Enquiries from Bob on 01606 45186 or email dsp.blog1@btinternet.com.

Paulette's September Newsletter

Hello friends and members,
I hope you all have had a restful and happy summer.

QUIZ NIGHT.......
This missive comes to remind you all that we start the new season at the ' Davenham Players' on Thurs 8th Sept with a quiz night run by Jamie Morris. Come along at 8 p.m. clutching your £1 entry money and settle down to an enjoyable evening. The last one was a great success, so rustle up a team of 4 or just come and join a team on the night.  All welcome.

BAR.......

As our new bar manager, Andrea Scott,  with the help of Arthur Jones and husband Paul (Andrea's not Arthur's!), have been very busy over the summer refurbishing the bar and very smart it looks too. Graham Hough has been busy rewiring the stage lighting dimmers packs at the back of the theatre and Arthur is now set to work on the upstairs rooms, so much is being achieved. Thanks to all who attended the last work party and have helped throughout the Summer.

FORTHCOMING PLAYS.......

We have a full autumn programme planned for your entertainment. Barbara Crellin is directing' The Cripple of Inishmaan' by Martin McDonagh from 1st-5th Nov. This is a strange & comic tale set on a remote island off the west coast of Ireland in 1934. Tickets from Bob Almquist 01606 45186. Book early to avoid disappointment.


Ed Green, our new artistic director, is bringing back ' Tin Shed' and their first production of the season is  'Love Play'in Dec 13th-17th . More details nearer the time.


CLUB NIGHTS..........

As there is play in rehearsals, and when that happens we usually suspend club nights, we are aware that there a lot of you, not involved in the play, who might appreciate club nights being held so that you can keep your hand in, so to speak!  As these evenings take a lot of preparation, I would be grateful if you could let me know if you are interested in coming down for one of these. The provisional dates are Sept 22nd, October 6th & 20th.  If there is enough interest then I will go ahead and plan the evenings. As there will no doubt be rehearsals on those days we can hold our sessions in another room, or we may even be able to be the audience for the actors !!


Bye for now and hope to see you on Thurs for the quiz.

Paulette

Paulette's August Newsletter

Hello everyone,
I hope you're enjoying  your summer and the (fairly) good weather . I say fairly, as it is raining at the moment but the gardens do need it don't they, even if we don't !

The AGM....

We had a well attended AGM meeting with 13 members present and much healthy discussion . We have 3 new committee members and  a new chairman. Phil Perry, who has been standing in as chairman since Sue
Tamblin left, felt unable to fulfill the post due to the commitments of a new job. However, we are pleased that he is still on our committee and wish him well with the job.

Our new chairman is Bob Almquist, a very worthy and popular choice.  The 3 new committee members are Denise Barry, Ed Green and Don Anderson. Your committee members and their responsibilities are:-

Bob Almquist- Chairman- responsible for lettings,bookings, publicity, treasurer [til Dec 2011]

Paulette Anderson- secretary- newsletters , membership, publicity.

Don Anderson- treasurer [ from Jan 2012]

Andrea Scott- bar

Vanessa Duffy -publicity

Graham Hough- Lighting & sound

Arthur Jones building & maintenance

Phil Perry- posters & fliers

Ed Green- artistic director

Denise Barry-social events.

And thanks go to Janet Illidge who is not on the committee but is still willing to apply for grants on our behalf.

The questionnaire that Phil recently compiled has been returned by a few members but not many, so if you have not yet completed it , please send it to Phil  as soon as possible so that he can  assess the results.

If you have any queries , please contact the relevant committee member through either Bob Almquist tel: 01606 45186 or myself, Paulette tel: 01606 79779

Forthcoming Events.....

We are using the summer to complete jobs  at the theatre. We have already attacked the costume room and are about to re-vamp the bar on Sat 6th Aug at 10a.m. So if you can spare a couple of hours do come along. We are very appreciative of any help and time that you offer and can't do it without you !

See you soon,

Paulette

Newsletter April 2011

Billy Liar Hello one and all and hope this newsletter finds you all hale & hearty and enjoying the spring weather. We at the ‘Players’ are just basking in the aftermath of a successful production of ‘Billy Liar’, in which audience numbers broke all records. We received some extremely nice comments from audience members, one lady having been to see it the first time, when she was 9 years old, with her grandmother. Peter Riley, the producer at that time, also came with his wife and sister, as did Ruth Rutter, who played Alice in that production. It was through Peter Riley and the committee that the ‘Players’ purchased 59 Church Street in the late 60’s when it was a conservative club.

A lot of hard work went into this production and thanks must go to all who made it such a success both on and off the stage with particular thanks to Arthur Jones and the team who made such a realistic set. A big thanks also to Paul Scott, Andrea’s husband, who installed the monitor in the ‘beige’ room. This made life so much easier for backstage crew to see what was happening on stage. This was first installed during ‘The Cemetery Club’ and facilitated actor’s cues. We now want to put a monitor in the bar area, also to help with actors’ cues and in addition to allow latecomers to see what is happening onstage.

New Members It was especially nice to welcome new members to this production, namely, Jacqui Campuzano, Millie Outen, Beth Anderson, and Matthew Darlow ; Graham Wright who has returned to us after a long absence and backstage, Denise Barry, Peter Lownds, and Carol Jopson.

Valentine’s Evening An enjoyable evening was had by us all on Feb 11^th when we celebrated Valentine’s day with a selection of songs and readings, both romantic & comic. Thanks go to Barbara Crellin for organising the evening.

Tippin’s Talk Maggie Tippin, who moved recently to live in Liverpool, came back on 24^th March to give us a very interesting talk about her life in the professional theatre. After training at The Guildhall Drama school, Maggie rose through the ranks and became stage manager at the Theatre Royal Windsor and had some very interesting stories to tell about her experiences.

Dornford-May at the Palace Don’t miss 5^th May, when Stuart Dornford-May is giving us an insight into his experiences in the professional theatre. When Stuart was a member at Davenham, he produced some very successful plays; ‘Blood Brothers’ and ‘Mr What-Not’ to name but two. Stuart is now general manager at the Palace Theatre in Manchester.

Next Production - is a play written by member Clare Albinson. ‘Irene’s Friends’, will be produced by Ed Green in mid-October. Audition & performance dates to be arranged.

And after that - In late November/ early December – A play to be produced by Barbara Crellin. More details of both these later.

Work Parties - Due to the success of ‘A Christmas Carol’ & ‘Billy Liar’, our audience numbers have risen significantly and we have therefore been able carry out the much needed maintenance at the theatre and Bob and Arthur have been hard at work. The loft has been lagged and the floor in the ‘beige’ room’ repaired. Those of you who came to see ‘Billy’ will have, I hope, benefited from the comfort of the new chairs, which grace our auditorium with a certain elegance! Our old stacking chairs are on the market, should you know any organisation who would want them.

Club Nights - Finally, we are reinstating club nights which have already started with Maggie’s talk and a play reading led by Sheila Hetherington. These are a great way to get to know one another and to learn acting skills and ........ the bar will be open ! Please support them as a lot of work goes into their preparation. Until next time it only remains for me to say, here are some...........

Dates for your Diary

Wed 20^th April - A talk in aid of charity by Adrian Sumner. My 60 favourite works of Art 7.30 for 8pm. Tickets £4.00 including glass of wine from Caroline Stevens on 01606 42920

Thurs 21^st April - Club night – Improvisation – led by Paulette. 8pm

Thurs 5^th May - Club night- Talk by Stuart Dornford-May. 8pm

Sat 7^th May - Work party. 10 a.m. Many hands make light work!!!

Thurs 12^th May – Committee meeting 8pm

Thurs 19^th May - Club night – play reading led by Bob- 8pm.

Thurs 2^nd June - Club night –Improvisation led by Phil. 8pm

Thurs 16^th June – Quiz night by Jamie. £3 to include a light supper 8pm

Thurs 30^th June - club night – cleaning & BBQ preparation. Yes, we will need you that night!!!

Sat 2^nd July - BBQ 7.30pm Tickets £6 from Paulette. 01606 79779

3-9^th Aug – Theatre being used for a local young peoples’ musical, details tbc

Thurs 14^th July - AGM 8pm. A good chance for you to air your views and tell us what you want as a member

LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU !

Phil Perry – Chairman - 01606 46382. Paulette Anderson - Secretary - 01606 79779. Bob Almquist – Treasurer - 01606 45186

URGENT REQUEST FROM MOULTON DRAMA GROUP
ACTORS WANTED FOR ‘DAWN OF THE CROWS’

Moulton Drama Group are looking for three actors to join an ensemble of 14 performers who are ‘in rehearsal’ for the play, to be performed in the week beginning Monday 23^rd May up to and including Saturday 28^th May. Rehearsals are on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. ‘Dawn of the Crows’ is semi-fictionalised history of a real Cheshire village, Moulton. It tells a number of stories about its past: life working in the rock salt mines, romances and rivalries, riots and rebels, wars in foreign fields and of the origins of the famous Crow Dance. Due to unfortunate circumstances, we need…

• Two male actors in their thirties who can multiple role play
• One female actor in her thirties

If you can help, please contact Robert Meadows on 01606 551453, Mobile 07733295435 or email: rgmeadows@talktalk.net

CHESHIRE THEATRE GUILD

www.ctguild.org.uk

Spring 2011 newsletter

FOUR IMPORTANT DATES FOR YOUR DIARY.

SUNDAY JULY 10^TH

ACTING WORKSHOP

11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at HARLEQUINS THEATRE.

This will be led by Stefan Escreet, associate director at Theatre by the Lake in Keswick. In 2010 Stefan led a directing workshop under the “Stage Further” banner. Feed-back from this workshop rated the day 100% “excellent” and I am sure this acting workshop will not disappoint. At this time I am awaiting details from Stefan of what we will be doing on the day and these will come to you shortly. What I can tell you is that the MAXIMUM number of places will be restricted to 15 and the fee for the day workshop will be in the region (and not exceeding) £15 per person. All this will be in a booking form that will follow. HOWEVER, to ensure you get one of the places you can register your interest NOW on john.powell485@btinternet.com.

WEDNESDAY JULY 13^th

CHESHIRE THEATRE GUILD AWARDS NIGHT

7.30 p.m. at CHESTER LITTLE THEATRE.

Full details will follow nearer the time but please note this will be entry by TICKET ONLY, paid for in advance. This is because the CLT auditorium has a seating capacity of 126 and unlike other venues we have used extra seating cannot be added.

SATURDAY JUNE 25^th.

This is the CLOSING DATE for our POSTER COMPETITION.

These need to be with Maureen Melville at 24, Forest Close, Cuddington, Northwich, Cheshire, CW8 2EE no later than the above date: just a reminder that the maximum poster size is A4. There is no restriction on the number of posters you may enter and the play does not need to have been adjudicated, as long as it was performed after the date of the 2010 awards evening and before this year’s awards.

SUNDAY JULY 17^th

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING

12.30 p.m. at CUDDINGTON VILLAGE HALL.

Notice is hereby given that the 47^th Annual General Meeting of Cheshire Theatre Guild will be held on the above date and venue. There will be a light buffet lunch followed by the AGM.

COMMITTEE.

IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT WE HAVE NEW, YOUNGER MEMBERS TO JOIN THE COMMITTEE WHO WILL COME UP WITH NEW IDEAS TO RE-JUVENATE THE GUILD AND KEEP IT GOING FOR FUTURE YEARS. THE PRESENT COMMITTEE MEMBERS ARE ALL ADVANCING IN YEARS, HAVE BUS-PASSES, RAIL CARDS OR B and Q DISCOUNT CARDS, ARE IN RECEIPT OF PENSIONS etc. etc., OR SUFFER FROM THOSE “SENIOR MOMENTS”, AND AT LEAST 2 WOULD LIKE TO STEP DOWN BUT WE MUST HAVE PEOPLE WAITING IN THE WINGS TO CARRY ON THOSE ROLES. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, COULD SPARE A MODEST AMOUNT OF TIME AND FEEL YOU COULD CONTRIBUTE TO THE GUILD BY JOINING THE COMMITTEE, PLEASE TELEPHONE JOHN ON 01606 833645 OR MAUREEN ON 01606 888216. TO DISCUSS THE MATTER.

NEW GUILD MEMBERS.

THE NOMADS THEATRE COMPANY

(Not to be confused with SALE Nomads Theatre Club)

Nomads Theatre Company was formed in the summer of 2009 out of two passionate desires. Firstly, to put on a production of James Robson’s “Mr. Wonderful” and, secondly, for the four founding members to work together on a high quality production, during which everyone in the company could have a happy time in pursuit of a hobby. The original four of us were the cornerstones of a production – an experienced and award-winning director, and similarly qualified DSM, set builder/lights and sound engineer. We used our experience and knowledge to assemble, by invitation only, a top-notch cast and other personnel, hired the Daneside Theatre in Congleton and presented “Mr. Wonderful” in June 2010. We all had “the best time” and were thrilled to receive two NODA nominations (Best Production and Best Leading Actress). Every member of the team wished to remain, we have invited additional actors and support staff to join us and are now in rehearsal for “Nasty Neighbours” by Debbie Isitt to be performed at the Daneside on the 25^th – 28^th May 2011. We look forward to a future that will always be based on the dual foundation of the highest of production values and the happy enjoyment of a hobby for all in “NOMADS”. Marie Straker.

Note: If you would like to go and see “Nasty Neighbours” telephone Marie on 01260 290622 or Heather Smith on 01625 501319. You will also be able to see a short extract from the play at the CTG awards evening.

HIRE SERVICES.

We all have our favourite sources for costume/props/furniture hire – and many of these are CTG members but here are some more you may like to try:

• WILMSLOW GREEN ROOM SOCIETY.

Each Tuesday 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. tel 01625 525899 or 01625 251307.

• THE VIC THEATRE STOKE.

Costume Supervisor Pat Blenkham 01782 381365

or e-mail pblenkham@newvictheatre.org.uk.

For props and furniture e-mail propshire@newvictheatre.org.uk.

• THE LIBRARY THEATRE MANCHESTER

(No longer in the Library Building of course, pending a new home in the City, scheduled for 2014, and now using the Quays Theatre at the Lowry and other venues)

Contact Jamie Byron 0161 234 1952 or e-mail j.byron@manchester.gov.uk.

PERFORMING RIGHTS.

A WARNING – AGAIN !!

I have warned before of the importance of getting and paying for the licence to perform BEFORE rehearsals commence – and bear in mind that selling you the scripts does not guarantee a licence. Sadly, a CTG group were recently refused a licence well into rehearsals and with publicity about to commence. This is not the first time this has happened and I always hope it will be the last. To the great credit of the group concerned they were undaunted, dusted themselves off and found a different play – real “the show must go on” spirit. This time it was a Samuel French play and you may like to make a note of the telephone number that will get you straight through to amateur royalties - 020 7255 4302.

By the way: those of you with a large stock of doors in your scene dock can forget about using them for a production of “Boeing-Boeing” – the play is completely withdrawn.

SPIRIT OF THE AGE.

Producers of a pantomime in Glasgow have been forced to change one of the costumes because it violated the Geneva Convention. Nurse Poltis’s hat and tunic in the Pavilion Theatre’s ROBIN HOOD originally bore a red cross – an emblem declared sacrosanct by the 1957 convention. Following a complaint from the British Red Cross, it is now green. “Widespread misuse of the Red Cross emblem could dilute its neutrality” said a spokesman.

HOW TO CHAT UP AN ACTOR.

Brian Blessed caused a stir last year by storming out of a dinner because someone had described one of his films as “crap”. If you ever encounter a “luvvie” here is a guide to keeping them happy:

• Tell film actors you’d love to see them on stage and stage actors you’d love to see them on screen. This suggests you have spotted hidden talents that a hundred casting directors have missed.
• Furrow your brow and say,”I can’t think why it’s always directors that run theatres and not actors”. It goes down a treat.
• Never praise their peers. Limit your accolades to actors that are much older, much younger or, best of all, dead.
• On no account tell them how much smaller they look off screen.

AN UNHAPPY ACTOR.

Graham Seed is not a happy man. As Archers fans will know, his alter ego - Nigel Pargetter – plunged off the roof of his home, Lower Loxley Hall, to his death, and as a consequence, Seed, at 60, was suddenly unemployed. The decision to kill off the only toff in the village was made at Easter 2010 and yet it was November – three weeks before the 60^th anniversary edition was due to be recorded – in a phone call from the Radio 4 show’s editor, Vanessa Whitburn, that Seed was given the news. “I was, shall we say, surprised” he says. “And, I don’t know if it’s my public school background but I immediately thought I’d done something wrong. I must be bad, I’ve been found out, I’m not a very good actor” that sort of thing. Vanessa said, “No, no, of course not. It’s just that it’s a very good story for me! It only takes 5 seconds to fall of a roof! Seed thinks the show will be worse off without the dim but amiable Nigel, listeners may agree. So why did Whitburn do it? “Because he’s much loved – that’s impact” Seed says, “it probably opens up very good stories in the future about the kids. But I mean, why couldn’t he have been very badly injured? Why was he killed? It didn’t need a death. There was a birth, that’s nice. No need to have a death as well”.

P.S: Nigel’s death scream was timed and some very clever mathematicians calculated that he must have fallen about 400ft – making Lower Loxley Hall quite some stately home!

P.P.S: You can now download Nigel’s death scream as a mobile phone ring-tone!

AND FINALLY...

from I Never Knew That About England.

The 14^th century Tolethorpe Hall, 2 miles (3 km) north of Stamford, has been the home of the STAMFORD SHAKESPEARE COMPANY since 1977. They put on an annual season of plays in June, July and August in an open air theatre situated in the grounds. The auditorium is protected by a permanent high-tensile canopy, which is the only theatre structure of its type in Europe.